Obama To ‘Nationalize The Twinkie Industry’

As the Benghazi coverup Sno Balls® amid continued criticism of Republican “politicizing,” the Obama White House launches a preemptive strike to “nationalize” Hostess just hours after the company announced plans Friday to “wind down” operations over a “crippling’ bakers’ union strike.

“We the undersigned, hereby request Barack Obama to immediately Nationalize the Twinkie industry and prevent our nation from losing her sweet creamy center.”

Politico posted the petition which requires 25,000 signatures to get the attention of the White House which cooked up this half-baked plot politicizing the strike.

EBay hucksters are hawking the creamy concoctions for obscene amounts of dough.  Crumby capitalists!  “$100 a box of 10″ Wash Post.

AFL-CIO Ding Dong® Richard Trumka’ s Zingers®:  “What’s happening with Hostess Brands is a microcosm of what’s wrong with America, as Bain-style Wall Street vultures make themselves rich by making America poor,” Trumka said in a public statement. “Crony capitalism and consistently poor management drove Hostess into the ground, but its workers are paying the price.”

Hostess Friday:

“We deeply regret the necessity of today’s decision, but we do not have the financial resources to weather an extended nationwide strike,” said Gregory F. Rayburn, chief executive officer. “Hostess Brands will move promptly to lay off most of its 18,500-member workforce and focus on selling its assets to the highest bidders.”

In addition to dozens of baking and distribution facilities around the country, Hostess Brands will sell its popular brands, including Hostess®, Drakes® and Dolly Madison®, which make iconic cake products such as Twinkies®, CupCakes, Ding Dongs®, Ho Ho’s®, Sno Balls® and Donettes®. Bread brands to be sold include Wonder®, Nature’s Pride ®, Merita®, Home Pride®, Butternut®, and Beefsteak®, among others.

The wind down means the closure of 33 bakeries, 565 distribution centers, approximately 5,500 delivery routes and 570 bakery outlet stores throughout the United States.

Why Hostess failed. NYP “They just knead a little more dough.”  Michelle’s Mirror.

Friday, November 16, 2012 @ 3:44 PM


  • Jimbotalk

    This will take place under the Creamfilled Realignment Authorization Program.
    Or just the initials. 

  • http://twitter.com/sixtus66 Sixtus66

    I just want to say that I really love Twinkies. Granted, Snoballs are also quite good. But, a Twinkie always made life’s problems a bit less shitty. 

    Now then, on to the blame game…

    Because of the strike, it looks like it’s the Union’s fault for not taking the concessions package. But from what I’ve read, the reality is that the company was going Tango Uniform regardless of whether they received concessions or not; just not right now, maybe in a few years. 

    I work in higher education and anecdotally I don’t see the young people eating Hostess brand snacks. These days they are into Doritos, Cheese-Its and the different types of popcorn. All things that get washed down quite nicely with a beer. Hostess cakes just don’t go with alcohol very well.  

    • http://www.facebook.com/john.cobb.509 John Cobb

      “Tango Uniform” god, what next, is this an Irish riot, I am lost.

    • http://twitter.com/sixtus66 Sixtus66

      Tango Uniform…Tits Up. A slang term for dead or destroyed. the words “tango” and “uniform” are from the military phonetic alphabet standing for “T” and “U” respectively. 

      Here it is in a sentence:

      Hostess Bakeries would have gone tits up with or without the strike because of changing dietary habits. 

      Verstehen? 

    • http://www.facebook.com/john.cobb.509 John Cobb

      Oh, I see.

      Kind of like “Peaches” career .

  • Phildo

    The Obama administration did not create the petition, you belligerent moron. It was started by a morning radio station in KC.

    • Galileo12_17
    • http://chickaboomer.com/ Marty Davis

      Then Politico was wrong.

    • http://chickaboomer.com/ Marty Davis

       Sorry, you’re wrong.  The petition is official  White House.  https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/nationalize-twinkie-industry/cJz0ngJR

    • http://www.facebook.com/john.cobb.509 John Cobb

      Marty, at the risk of sounding stupid, who at the WH would put such a petition out, and, why??

    • http://chickaboomer.com/ Marty Davis

       Maybe Trumka ordered Obama to do it.

    • http://www.facebook.com/john.cobb.509 John Cobb

      Marty, what did Phi-doo mean with the word “Belligerent”, I hear moron all the time, but, “belligerent”!!!

    • http://chickaboomer.com/ Marty Davis

      Hell if I know.  Maybe he knows one of my ex-husbands?

    • http://www.facebook.com/john.cobb.509 John Cobb

      I looked it up, it means a state of war. 

      Those Meirakions in the WH are getting a little snippy.

    • http://chickaboomer.com/ Marty Davis

      The union regs on unloading trucks and stocking store shelves with Hostess products are insane!

  • 4lsanday

    Obama heard from all of the Ho Ho’s back in Chicago who told him if the brothers wanted to dongs dinged he better do something.

  • ZoneDaiatlas

    Never Forget!  Another corrupted union destroyed an American Icon.  Twinkies survived the “Great Depression” but couldn’t survive Obama’s first term.  Union Thug, Mr. Trumka, will still make millions while 18,000 + will be on welfare. 

  • Sentinel

    David Petraeus heard to say, “That’s okay, I’ve got my little twinkie”.

  • Sentinel

    I don’t see how an administration chocked with people who’ve never had a job could possibly run  a corporation, given that the government has past proven they have no head for business when they couldn’t even run a whorehouse in Nevada – the Mustang Ranch.  The IRS took it over when the owner got into tax trouble and after one year the doors were closed on a $100M/year business that had been in business for decades. 

  • ZoneDaiatlas

    Today show staff fear for their jobs after NBC announce 500 job losses – but Matt Lauer ‘is refusing to take a pay cut’

    Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2233388/Today-staff-fear-jobs-NBC-announce-500-job-losses–Matt-Lauer-refusing-pay-cut.html#ixzz2CQZXR1Bq

    Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook
    Another great American company fallen victim to the Greedy Union Masters…. BC’s announcement layoffs are being made in the entertainment division

    Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2233388/Today-staff-fear-jobs-NBC-announce-500-job-losses–Matt-Lauer-refusing-pay-cut.html#ixzz2CQZgtFtk

    Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

    • http://chickaboomer.com/ Marty Davis

      Unlike Jay Leno who did take a cut. Lauer needs dough to pay for that Hamptons horse farm.

  • http://chickaboomer.com/ Marty Davis

    As a kid in the 50s and early 60s, I adored Hostess cupcakes and fruit pies!  A NYT writer says it all:  “You did not care that this processed food product in your trembling hand was an industrial step or two removed from becoming the heel of a shoe.”
    http://www.nytimes.com/2012/11/17/us/back-when-a-ring-ding-tasted-guiltily-like-america.html

  • http://twitter.com/sixtus66 Sixtus66

    So devastated that I’ll no longer have devil dogs and coffee cakes that overlooked this tidbit from Marty’s post…AFL-CIO Richard Trumka puts the blame squarely at the foot of BAIN CAPITAL style businesses that are killing America. Didn’t he get the memo? The election is over and his side won. He can stop demonizing Bain Capital. 

    Oh and…30 years ago I work for a very large, regional super market chain and we were “represented” by the United Food & Commercial Workers Union. There was some contentious dialogue between the company and the union. One meeting the Union executive board, the negotiators and others were rallying the crowd to show the company they mean business by striking. 

    Even at 17 I thought it was odd that the people who really wanted to bring the company to its knees with a strike, show them who was boss, didn’t even work for the company; they worked for the union. So I would be walking a picket line making, well, nothing because I was on a picket line and the executive board and negotiators rallying us to strike and stand our ground would be making their usual 50-60k salary. 

    But I was a young and dumb 17 year old who had no clue of the ways of the real world. 

  • Jim Coles

    With mostly Left-Dems on its board, I’m surprised Hostess decided to screw the workers…then again, maybe I’m not surprised…that is the Left Agenda, after all.